


What is freedom?

by Confronting_the_faceless



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban, Death Eaters, Freedom, Grief/Mourning, Home, Muggles, Slytherin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-24 01:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15619206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confronting_the_faceless/pseuds/Confronting_the_faceless
Summary: He has been released from Azkaban after seven years, finally coming home, realising that freedom isn't what he originally thought. She is grieving, struggling to cope, she is also looking after her sister's children - terrified about the magical world they were born into.





	1. Chapter 1

He had been in there for seven years.  
Seven years of solitude.  
Seven years of torture.  
He was supposedly free.  
But he wasn’t. He was going to be banned from magic.  
His bank accounts frozen.  
He was not going to be a free man; everyone who has been there knows that there is no such thing as freedom.  
That was clear when he was put in there without a trial.  
That was clear when they did not ask him what he had actually done.  
They may be free, but no one else is, as their type of freedom relies on power.  
Their Freedom relies on someone being imprisoned to kid the others into thinking that they are free.

“Oi Nott, stop fucking dawdling and hurry up, so I can get to the pub sooner” grunted auror Robertson who was escorting him from Azkaban into the ministry.  
He climbed out of the hole he had been kept in, muscles weary as they had not been used in years. Their footsteps could not be heard over the delirious sounds of inmates . Their screams and shouting reverberated of the walls. Robertson looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t notice- he had grown accustom to it.  
The noise gradually faded away as they walked through corridors towards the exit. Each time a guard checked them and let them go through the magical barriers. The first security guard looked bored- like he had been there a long time; the last looked afraid of him, which he thought to himself was ridiculous as he was a pale, thin, bony man who had not been fed properly in the past seven years. He was not even a shadow of his former self. The guard must have been new to the job or he was just very out of touch, or both.  
When they were at the fireplace, he realised what did he actually have to go back to?  
His parents were dead.  
His friends if not locked up would want nothing to do with him; They would have forgotten him anyway, seven years have passed, they will have their own lives- they will be unrecognizable to the teenagers he used to know.  
He had no job, little money, a house that had been empty for seven years.  
What did he have to go back to?

He was currently in a green tiled room filled with doors all insignificant compared to the fireplace he had just stepped out of; the one way in and out of Azkaban. Robertson opened the door pushing him inside.  
“Theo, oh God.”  
He turned around to the source of the noise. “Matt, what are you doing here?” he asked unsurely, he had not been forgotten after all.  
“Come to take you home, of course.”  
“You didn’t have to" he replied.  
“’Course I did, I am your friend aren’t I? I’ve got some clothes here for you to change into.” Matt looked up at Robertson as he held out the clothes to Theo, Matt’s eyes were full of compassion- something of which Theo had rarely seen. Robertson nodded and led them into another room.  
Theo slowly took of his rags. It felt like a significant moment, him discarding the past few years. Hands shaking as he did up his buttons, realising only how thin he was when he had to use Matt’s belt- he was still swimming in his clothes.

He remembered the sea. The sea that surrounded him.

“Theodore Nott, you have been released from Azkaban on the first of June, in the year two thousand and five. Witnesses, myself, Arthur Morray, auror Robertson, and Matthew Wade.” He was sat in front of a desk looking at the man speaking into a recording device. Matt sitting behind him and Robertson by the door. “Conditions of your release are the following; no magic to be used, no wand to be used, all previous bank accounts cannot be opened however a small sum will be sent each month, you will be subject to visits by aurors, your property can be searched without warrant, you can be detained without a warrant, you can be tracked at any time, you can be asked to leave land by aurors if you are causing a disturbance and have no reason for being there -This will go on your record. You now have a criminal record which will make it near impossible to be employed.” Arthur Morray continued like this for some time, Theo just stared at the pen lying on the desk. “Goodbye, Mr Nott. If you go out the door to the left you are free to go.” He said whilst going back to his paperwork.

The two friends embraced outside. Matt looked back at Theo and said “ I am so sorry mate,” Theo smiled back at him “I parked the car over there.”  
“Thanks for coming to get me. I thought everyone would have forgotten me.”  
“Well I didn’t, I tried so hard for them to give you a trial, but they were like animals waiting to rip apart prey. I think the ministry hate me now.”  
Theo was shocked, he had had no idea,”thank you, there was no way they were going to budge.”  
“Well you may not be thanking me in a minute. Oh, I forgot, I ate lunch before I came to the ministry but I have a sandwich for you in the bag behind you.”  
Theo reached over and smiled, it was coronation chicken- Matt had remembered that he liked it.  
“Well I’ll tell you everything that has happened. Right so as I said earlier, I tried to get you a trial but that lead nowhere. Then as you know they introduced new laws about money, so I took quite a bit out of your account-." Theo interrupted “How did you manage that?”  
“I pretended to be your brother.” Theo grunted at this response.  
“Well there is a slight catch. I put half of the money in a muggle bank account for you,” Matt responded slowly.  
“What did you do with the rest of the money?”  
“I used it as a start up loan to set up a company in printing and editing, we do both magic and muggle stuff- but the staff are muggles,” Matt said quickly.  
“Oh, that's fine, it doesn’t need to be a loan. The way you said it made me think you’d spent it on drugs or something,” chuckled Theo.  
“Well next week you can start your job, you can do the accounts as you are good at arithmacy, I’m crap so they have been neglected,” Matt sounded more sure now.  
Theo nodded and said “Thanks, I look forward to being in your employment.”  
“Well there is one other thing. There is this girl at work-“  
Theo interrupted “oh?”  
“no, no I don’t like Rosie- that’s the girl. I actually like Penny- don’t tell her I said that. Well anyway, around six months ago Rosie’s family were killed in a car crash. She was left to look after her sister’s kids. But then on top or that she was kicked out of her home- she was living with her parents- because of something strange thing with her parents will. So she got kicked out without any money from the house and some of their possessions were also taken away. So a few months ago I said they could stay in your house. They are not paying rent until you come back, and Rosie will talk that through with you. I also said that we can always clear out somewhere else for them. I’m sorry I did all this without your permission.”  
“It’s hardly like you could have asked me anyway. I don’t mind, it’s just poor them having to go in the house,” Theo exclaimed, Matt breathed out as they went round the roundabout, Theo then continued “there is just one thing. You know the house has got loads of weird pureblood, magical stuff and even house elf heads and they are muggles....”  
“Oh, her sister’s husband was a wizard, so the kids probably are magic, so she knows about magic.”  
“That explains a lot.”  
Silence lulled over them. He was finally out of there. He was going home, he thought as they were on the motorway. The roads narrow as the sun moved slowly in the sky. They were winding through small road with cow parsley bursting out of the wayside and birds singing in the trees.  
He was finally home.

 

~  
Her alarm clock woke her up with its insistent buzzing, she turned it off and looked out of the window; it was a lovely day, the sun was rising, giving a golden glow to the fields and the birds were chirping loudly. She got up hastily. The water in the shower reminded her of them. It made her remember that day. The kids running from the car in the rain hugging their grandparents as they walked in the door. She waved to her sister and her husband and said 'have fun', saying see you later to her parents as they went outside. She remembers opening the door to the policeman in the rain.

“Aunty, is the man coming later?” asked Ann as they sat down for breakfast. “Where has he been?” Tom asked. “prison.” The answer did not satisfy Tom. “ normal or wizarding?”  
“wizarding prison.”  
“oh, okay.” Tom fell silent.  
Rosie looked at the children who were devouring the toast, “You are going to have to be on your best behaviour.”  
The children gave a muffled response of “we will.” As they sat waiting to get down from the table.  
“You can go and play in the garden, be nice to each other please. Matt said they should come around dinner time. So I’ll be cleaning.” The children nodded and ran off out of the door, shouting at each other.

She started cleaning downstairs. She wanted to make a good impression- to show that she was respectful, so she vacuumed in all the corners, fluffed up all of the cushions, and polished everything.  
She paused as she was cleaning photographs, she recognized Matt first. He was younger in the photograph, had that youthful glint in his eye that only teenagers have when you still believe the world is yours to conquer. He had his arm around a good looking boy next to him; he had sharp cheekbones, dark hair flopping over his face, smiling in a way that entices you in to him. They seem to radiate happiness from the photograph, as if in that moment they had no cares in the world, it was just them- two friends laughing in a garden on a hot summers day. The picture seemed significant, like the brightest star in the night sky. Just like a star in the night sky it seemed to hold a dear memory.  
She was making his bed with great precision; tucking the edges of the sheet under tightly, fluffing up the pillows, making sure that the duvet was evenly spread out inside its cover. She put one of her old quilts on the bed, she thought he would want something homely and personal after all his time away. She put a jug with two purple hydrangeas in on the drawers which seemed to make the room warmer. She folded clothes and pyjamas for him on the bed putting slippers on the floor. Next to it she put a pile of towels and a razor. She asked herself why she was doing all of this? She answered with to be kind and to make a good impression but deep down she knew that it was something else.  
Later she was looking at the children in the garden, amazed by how they seemed fine, their grief gone. She thought why, why was their grief gone? She decided it was the house, it was the house that made the difference.  
The house felt like home.


	2. Chapter 2

He was finally going home. After Seven years he was going home. His jaw ached from smiling – which had been a foreign to him in the last seven- even ten years.

_No one sane smiled. Those who realised that they had been abandoned and forgotten by everyone, all hope lost smiled a satirical smile to try and make them forget the full meaning of what they were thinking. The other people that smiled were maniacs and lunatics, those who spent the whole days screaming, shouting, crying and singing. The ones who rattled at the bars that led to the sea. The ones who would fantasize about killing more. They smiled when they remembered 'the good old days' when they inflicted pain regularly, when they were powerful, when their name and blood was their social status, when they were a force to be feared._

“It's beautiful, isn't it?” Matt sighed. Theo was gazing out of the window, transfixed on the lush greens, the yellow, pink, white and blue of the flowers bursting from the waysides.

“It really is.”

The rest of the journey was spent with the windows rolled down, the breeze rushing through the car. The sound of wildlife echoed in his ears whilst he smelt the sweet smell of the countryside. They were turning in narrow lanes, going through the familiar little villages bursting with colour as the church clocks chimed, the elderly sat on benches in the heat and the little children ran from the shop with sweets in their arms to the playground, laughing and shouting, and dogs barked happily. This is life. This was what he had been deprived of for years. The intertwining of separate lives, weaving a beautiful complex web of emotions. Theo realised that the wizarding world lacked this- the diversity and acceptance of different people; even the compassion and love that radiated through this scene.

Matt slowed down as they got nearer. The trees- still the same after the years watched them as they turned to the house. The gateposts were less sincere and scaring than before- more welcoming; that may be because with time the roses had grown up around them.

He finally saw the house after they turned right after driving past the oak trees that lined the edge of the drive. The house looked the same yet something was different. Theo struggled to find what it was, then he realised it was life; there was finally life in the house that had not been properly lived in for decades. It was that life which seemed to bring the place alive- awake it from its enchantment and it seemed to make the place look magical.

He first noticed the children. They were running across the front lawn with a ball, laughing and shouting. Theo smiled at them, he smiled at the childhood that he never had. They ran up to them as the car stopped, waiting for him to get out, watching curiously in a way that only children can do as Theo struggled to get out of the car, his muscles weak. Thankfully Matt started talking to them before he became too embarrassed as he stumbled out of the car.

The boy looked up, pushing his sister forward, who was smiling whilst leaning on one knee, “Hello, I’m Tom this is my sister Ann.”

Theo had to stop himself from laughing as they soon shook hands with him very seriously and shared a smile with Matt as they led them round the house as they were trying to find their aunt.

The house was even more beautiful than be remembered with the wisteria covering the walls hanging by the windows. They found her sitting on faded stone steps, dress pooling around her, surrounded by roses and their sweet scent, slowly taking a drag on a cigarette whilst holding a glass in the other. She seemed so elegant, beautiful yet sad - lost in her thoughts, her eyes slightly glazed as her dark waves of hair shined in the sun. Theo couldn’t think as she suddenly snapped out of her thoughts as the children came next to her.

She quickly stubbed out her cigarette and took his hand, “Hello, I'm Rosie, you must be Theo. It’s an awful habit I know,” she said tilting her head towards the ashtray “but it is so hard to stop.”

“Don’t worry, it’s so hard to quit- however with magic you can get Matt to take the bad stuff out” Theo replied, Matt nodded at Rosie who smiled. 

"Should we go in? I can put dinner on. I expect your probably dying for a bath, sorry about our stuff being everywhere and I moved a tiny bit around to clean.”

“Don’t worry it must have been filthy, I think I will go and have a bath" Theo said as they walked into the kitchen, looking down at himself he thought he must look like some wild animal- especially to the children as he had not washed in years, or shaved and cut his hair.

“Okay, Matt I assume you are staying for dinner- Ann is that really wise- what do you want to drink?” she asked as she glared at Ann who was smiling sweetly back at her.

“Same as you" said Matt eyeing her glass.

“Right a g&t- Ann....!”

Theo smiled as made his way upstairs realising this was the happiest he had been in years. He noticed the signs of life that the children had left- such as a jumper thrown messily onto a chair by their doors, or a few soft toys that he saw whilst glancing through the open door neatly on a bed.

He realised that this was the first time that the house felt like his- not his parents. Even though the vast majority of the house had not been stepped into for years he felt like the house had life, and after years of it being dormant it was finally waking up.

He slowed as he got closer, retracing the steps he last took as a teenager. Theo noticed that Rosie was in the room next to his, he peered in as the door was ajar. It was comforting and warm, full of plants and throws, with the flowers bursting out at him, he also smelt the fragrance of rose that surrounded her, he was still trying to remember that scent went wen he walked into his room. It was not the cold and untouched room that he had been expecting, she had been in here and cleaned- leaving one of her throws on the bed with some folded clothes and a razor. She had polished the wood so it now had a warm glow and he noticed a purple hydrangea placed in a vase.

He shaved his beard first, slowly discarding an unrecognizable self. It had been the first time in seven years that he had begun to recognise himself as he looked up into the mirror and saw his hollow cheekbones. Theo cut his long clumps of hair almost definitely, trying to say _I am no longer that thing- that monster._

He believed it as he scrubbed the filth away using lavender soap that was among Rosie's body washes, as the last seven years of his of his life pooled at his feet, before the darkness ran down the drain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter is short but the next one should be longer. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> AN – thank you for reading, feedback would be greatly appreciated. This was sort of an introductory chapter, so they will meet next chapter and hopefully things will become clearer if they currently are not!
> 
> M


End file.
